Happy one year anniversary to me! I have been here in Chi-town for 1 year. One year at the new job, one year in the new place, one year in the big city. It is still amazing to me how quickly time passes now that I am an adult. I remember thinking when will I be old enough to drive?... when will I be old enough to drink?... when will I be old? I’m not old, but I am really starting to feel like a grown up. I have a grown up job (not that I didn’t have decent jobs before, the environment was just not nearly as professional), I bought my first car (all on my own), I’m looking at condos. For the first time in my life, I’m concerned about the amount of money I am pissing away. I worry about my parents and how much more time I have with them. I worry about whether or not I am going to find that special someone who can put up with all my crap. I worry about if I’m going to be too old to have children before I get married. I worry.

When I don’t have enough to worry about myself, I worry about others. My worry now is my new friend, CB. Her husband is thinking of volunteering to serve a year in Iraq. He’s a military man and he wants to do his duty. I completely understand both sides of the story – he needs to fulfill his duty to his country and he feels this is the way to do it; but at the same time, he needs to fulfill his duty to his home and his wife. What do you do? It’s so easy for me (if I had to make the decision) because I don’t have a spouse to think about, so it’s just me. What do you do when you have to think about this other person in your life and what they need or want? It’s not like moving across the country or changing jobs – this is WAR. This is life and death. How do you decide whether or not to risk your life? Especially when someone else is involved. I can give all the pros and be very rational about it for CB, but I can’t help her with her heart and that is very hard for me. My gut and my faith tell me he is going to be okay, whatever happens, but what does that mean for another person? I don’t know. I’m going to let this stew for a while.

Okay, I did it. I went out and bought myself a car. I'm a little stressed about it. I officially have a car payment...I officially have done it on my own. No help from my mom or dad (yes, dad is going to be a little stressed out about that one). But it is mine (and the bank's). My car was on it's last leg. It needs a new transmission, new brakes, new shocks and struts, new tires, air conditioning recharged. Yep...it was time for something a little newer. I got a 2006 Malibu Maxx LT, it's white with titanium interior. It doesn't have power seats, but I can live with that. I'm the only one who drives it and I put the seat all the way back. I still have some nervousness about the whole thing, but I'll be okay.

I feel that I need to get something out, but I don't know what it is. So, I have decided to talk about me...because it's all about me!

A few posts ago I listed some of my random thoughts and a little about me, so I thought I would continue...

1) I'm horrible with money - if I have it, I spend it.
2) I'm a little spoiled. My parents have always made sure my sister and I never went without. This has been hard to transition in to adulthood.
3) I have this really caddy side and it is not pretty when it comes out.
4) But at the same time, I am nice to just about everyone - even if I really don't like them.
5) I love to spend a Saturday sitting around watching stupid home improvement shows...cable is very bad for me.
6) I love chocolate.
7) I love dogs.
8) I like cats who act like dogs.
9) I have a really great friends. They are the kind of people that you can tell them all the bad things and they still love you anyway.
10) I seem more confident than I really am.
11) My feelings get hurt very easily - even if I don't let people know.
12) I know the person I am meant to spend the rest of my life with is out there, I just haven't met him yet.
13) My parents are the coolest people. They are very openminded and respectful of others. They are always doing things for people and it makes me appreciate them even more.
14) I wish I would have known my grandparents better. I didn't realized when I was younger that they had so much to offer.
15) I have only been in love once in my life. He broke my heart and it took a long time to get over.
16) I wish there was a magic pill for losing weight.
17) I love football!
18) I hate hot, humid weather. My hair frizzes, I sweat like a man, I can't breathe, basically, I'm miserable.
19) I sometimes feel like I'm missing something in my life.
20) I love myself, even if others don't!

Is it Tuesday or Wednesday?


Okay, so I have been confused all week as to what day it is. I really enjoy a long weekend, but then I can’t remember what day of the week it is when we have a Monday off.

Speaking of confusion…I know everyone has one of those co-workers that you just want to beat on a daily basis. Not necessarily for a specific reason, just for their general overall presence. One of my co-workers is completely crazy. She thinks the world exists for her. She is busier than everyone else, she can’t make a decision on her own, she want to boss people around (but she doesn’t want to make a decision). UGH! She is just really annoying me today.

This person has a position that is lateral to mine (same basic title, same pay grade). So, her direct boss (my bosses boss) has been out all last week and he was here yesterday, but now he is out again for two days. Needless to say, she gets crazy when he is not here, because she has to make decisions…god forbid. You are 40 something years old, grow up and use your brain for what it is there for. Our jobs are not hard, you just have use common sense. UGH!

Enough venting, I’m off to eat lunch!

So, I decided to stay in town this weekend and not make the 6 hour venture to visit my family. Well, it's a good thing, because my car has decided to completely bite it! I have lost the overdrive and can't go over 45 miles per hour. I have been considering buying a new car, but I wanted to wait until I got my bonus. Now I have to scramble around and try to get financing and all the other crap that goes with buying a car. Ugh...this sucks.

So, I've managed to rid myself of the mysterious flea (yes I found the little blood sucker) and my lovely bites are clearing up nicely. Now I can get off my Benadryl and hopefully I will be able to stay awake at work today!

I'm looking forward to the long weekend. I have made no commitments and I plan to keep it that way all weekend. I am going to do what I want, when I want. Yep, I'm selfish like that sometimes!