Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
In my last post, all I did was complain about my weight and being fat. Okay…I got it out of my system. Yes, I am doing something about it…I’m going to Weight Watchers. The plan is very doable and I can still eat all the foods I like, I just have to do it in moderation! It’s time for me to move on and stop complaining. Oh, and I lost 5 lbs. the first week!
On a more interesting note…it’s review time here at work. Can I tell everyone how much I hate review time. I hate the self-evaluation. I hate sitting in my boss’ office and having her tell me all the things I have done wrong over the last year. I love the bonus I will get come March, but I hate what it takes to get there. I’m a type A (I know, how can a fat girl be type A?), but I come off as a type B. I keep everything bottled up and I beat myself up for every single thing. So, it’s really hard to hear someone else tell me about my screw ups, because I have already been beating myself up about it.
Well, that’s all the whining I have for now. Have a great day Internet!
On a more interesting note…it’s review time here at work. Can I tell everyone how much I hate review time. I hate the self-evaluation. I hate sitting in my boss’ office and having her tell me all the things I have done wrong over the last year. I love the bonus I will get come March, but I hate what it takes to get there. I’m a type A (I know, how can a fat girl be type A?), but I come off as a type B. I keep everything bottled up and I beat myself up for every single thing. So, it’s really hard to hear someone else tell me about my screw ups, because I have already been beating myself up about it.
Well, that’s all the whining I have for now. Have a great day Internet!
Monday, January 08, 2007
So my very productive evening has been spent watching TV. I have two very important subjects to discuss. 1) Ohio State Football and 2) Lifetime TV's To Be Fat Like Me.
1) Ohio State Football - What the F*uck! I can't believe they got their asses kicked by Florida. They looked like crap out there tonight. The open play of the game, Ted Ginn returned the kickoff for a touchdown. Then...that was it...that was all. Not another decent play the entire game. I kept flipping back during the commericals of the Lifetime movie. I just couldn't watch the massacre. You suck and you let me down. Damn you OSU!
2) To Be Fat Like Me - So, speaking as a fat girl...what a load of crap. There is no way that she could really understand what is like to be a fat girl by dressing as one for a month. So, she had a few comments made. She didn't have to suffer the humilation of someone not wanting to sit next to you on the plane. Chairs that are too small, everyone analyzing every bite you put in your mouth, having people make unsolicited comments about how pretty you are (now if you would only lose that weight), etc. Of course my favorite question is...Have you lost weight? That is not a compliment to me, especially when I am feeling like a huge lard ass and all I want to do is hide.
Here is the thing...I know that I am pretty...I know that I have a great personality...I know that I would have guys lined up, if I would only lose weight. I don't need people to remind me. I have finally decided in the last few weeks that I will be seeking some help on my food issues. I use food as comfort and I need to stop. I know what I need to do to lose weight, but then something happens and I eat to make myself feel better. I need to deal with this, so I can be healthy and happy for 2007.
1) Ohio State Football - What the F*uck! I can't believe they got their asses kicked by Florida. They looked like crap out there tonight. The open play of the game, Ted Ginn returned the kickoff for a touchdown. Then...that was it...that was all. Not another decent play the entire game. I kept flipping back during the commericals of the Lifetime movie. I just couldn't watch the massacre. You suck and you let me down. Damn you OSU!
2) To Be Fat Like Me - So, speaking as a fat girl...what a load of crap. There is no way that she could really understand what is like to be a fat girl by dressing as one for a month. So, she had a few comments made. She didn't have to suffer the humilation of someone not wanting to sit next to you on the plane. Chairs that are too small, everyone analyzing every bite you put in your mouth, having people make unsolicited comments about how pretty you are (now if you would only lose that weight), etc. Of course my favorite question is...Have you lost weight? That is not a compliment to me, especially when I am feeling like a huge lard ass and all I want to do is hide.
Here is the thing...I know that I am pretty...I know that I have a great personality...I know that I would have guys lined up, if I would only lose weight. I don't need people to remind me. I have finally decided in the last few weeks that I will be seeking some help on my food issues. I use food as comfort and I need to stop. I know what I need to do to lose weight, but then something happens and I eat to make myself feel better. I need to deal with this, so I can be healthy and happy for 2007.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
So, for about the last six weeks, my hair has slowly been declining into a state of horribleness. I have needed to get it colored for about 5 of the last six weeks and the back was starting to look like I had a mullet. Last night I was finally able to get into my stylist. My hair looks so much better. It is back to its vibrant red color and he cut off the mullet look. (Side note – I wasn’t going for the mullet look, I’m growing my hair out and as the layers grow out, it starts to look like a mullet). Anyway, no one has even noticed. I even wore it down today (I usually have it in a headband) and no one said a word. I even mentioned that I got my hair done yesterday and my co-worker said “oh, you got you hair colored?” OK…my hair looked like crap and now it looks so much better. I guess I am the only one that noticed or felt like I looked horrible over the last few weeks – or maybe I just look horrible all the time. If someone doesn’t say something about my hair today…I may get it all cut off.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Happy one year anniversary to me! I have been here in Chi-town for 1 year. One year at the new job, one year in the new place, one year in the big city. It is still amazing to me how quickly time passes now that I am an adult. I remember thinking when will I be old enough to drive?... when will I be old enough to drink?... when will I be old? I’m not old, but I am really starting to feel like a grown up. I have a grown up job (not that I didn’t have decent jobs before, the environment was just not nearly as professional), I bought my first car (all on my own), I’m looking at condos. For the first time in my life, I’m concerned about the amount of money I am pissing away. I worry about my parents and how much more time I have with them. I worry about whether or not I am going to find that special someone who can put up with all my crap. I worry about if I’m going to be too old to have children before I get married. I worry.
When I don’t have enough to worry about myself, I worry about others. My worry now is my new friend, CB. Her husband is thinking of volunteering to serve a year in Iraq. He’s a military man and he wants to do his duty. I completely understand both sides of the story – he needs to fulfill his duty to his country and he feels this is the way to do it; but at the same time, he needs to fulfill his duty to his home and his wife. What do you do? It’s so easy for me (if I had to make the decision) because I don’t have a spouse to think about, so it’s just me. What do you do when you have to think about this other person in your life and what they need or want? It’s not like moving across the country or changing jobs – this is WAR. This is life and death. How do you decide whether or not to risk your life? Especially when someone else is involved. I can give all the pros and be very rational about it for CB, but I can’t help her with her heart and that is very hard for me. My gut and my faith tell me he is going to be okay, whatever happens, but what does that mean for another person? I don’t know. I’m going to let this stew for a while.
When I don’t have enough to worry about myself, I worry about others. My worry now is my new friend, CB. Her husband is thinking of volunteering to serve a year in Iraq. He’s a military man and he wants to do his duty. I completely understand both sides of the story – he needs to fulfill his duty to his country and he feels this is the way to do it; but at the same time, he needs to fulfill his duty to his home and his wife. What do you do? It’s so easy for me (if I had to make the decision) because I don’t have a spouse to think about, so it’s just me. What do you do when you have to think about this other person in your life and what they need or want? It’s not like moving across the country or changing jobs – this is WAR. This is life and death. How do you decide whether or not to risk your life? Especially when someone else is involved. I can give all the pros and be very rational about it for CB, but I can’t help her with her heart and that is very hard for me. My gut and my faith tell me he is going to be okay, whatever happens, but what does that mean for another person? I don’t know. I’m going to let this stew for a while.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Okay, I did it. I went out and bought myself a car. I'm a little stressed about it. I officially have a car payment...I officially have done it on my own. No help from my mom or dad (yes, dad is going to be a little stressed out about that one). But it is mine (and the bank's). My car was on it's last leg. It needs a new transmission, new brakes, new shocks and struts, new tires, air conditioning recharged. Yep...it was time for something a little newer. I got a 2006 Malibu Maxx LT, it's white with titanium interior. It doesn't have power seats, but I can live with that. I'm the only one who drives it and I put the seat all the way back. I still have some nervousness about the whole thing, but I'll be okay.
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